Why am I even writing? I don't know. I used to write everyday, or at least every couple of days. But now it seems to be once every few months; whenever the mood happens to strike. So I work at a small restaurant as a barista/server/bartender. Half the time I really like my job and half the time I really hate my job. I suppose a lot of people could say that about their jobs but I have never been so back and forth about a job before. I love being a barista, and I typically like being a server. I consider myself to be a people person and typically am able to be very personable and friendly with my customers. Although, as with any restaurant, I do sometimes get the occasional ass hole. I don't mind dealing with them so much. Although, I hate it more when the customer is angry about something that is completely valid. For instance, I get a lot of shit from customers when we are out of their favorite dish. I can completely understand being upset about this because we happen to be out of at least one dish if not 4 or 5 dishes almost every day of the week. It's so hard to just be like "I'm so sorry" because, honestly, I wouldn't be too happy either if I went out to a restaurant to get my favorite dish and they didn't have it. The other thing at work that's not so great is that our new owner has decided, for no good reason, that she doesn't like me. When she first bought the restaurant she had a staff meeting that everyone was required to attend. Unfortunately I had had a surgery scheduled for that day way before she told us about the meeting. While she understood that I couldn't make it, and didn't seem to mind, she seems to hold it against me when I do something a different way than she explained that she wanted it at the meeting. Rather than just telling me how she wants it, she gets upset and says "now had you been at the meeting you would have known how to do it the right way". I understand where she's coming from but I couldn't be there, and if she wanted me to know how she wants things done she should come in during my hours to tell me. But she refuses to come into the restaurant before 3pm which is a half hour after I leave everyday (after having been there for 8 hours). It's very frustrating that she gets on my case for not coming in during my time off to learn how she wants it when she's not willing to come in when I'm there to show me. It goes both ways, but really, it's her restaurant, so she's going to have to work a little harder than the rest of us. That's what she got herself into when she bought the restaurant. There are a bunch of other things that happened with her but I won't get into the details. Let's just say, she was stalking me on facebook, fired almost all of the staff that had been there she bought the place and made up reasons as to why ( like that they're drug dealers, or that they're stealing, or having sex in the bathrooms). I think she just wanted to hire all new people that she got to pick out and train the way she wants and pay less. But, I sat down with her a few weeks ago and we had a long talk and both explained our side of things and our views. And we've both been working hard to be better understood by the other person and regain respect and trust. I think it's starting to turn around. I've been working really hard and doing everything I can to make that restaurant run better. At least in respect to the things I have control over. I'm hoping to eventually get promoted to shift manager which would be really nice because I could definitely use the extra cash.
I really can't wait to move out of my parents' house. I recently moved into their basement from my upstairs room. I decided I was willing to pay a reasonable rate of $250 a month to have basically the entire basement to myself and to share with my boyfriend. That way we could have some privacy and at least try to get some alone time together once in a while. Unfortunately, during a storm a few weeks back a branch hit and ruined a gutter and now we've been having flooding in the basement. There hasn't really been any damage but there's been mold growing and it's making my boyfriend, my cat and me all kind of sick. Really bad sore throat and coughing, that kind of thing. It's gotten so bad that he hasn't spent the night in a while and I have been sleeping upstairs in the guest bedroom, which is really not my preferred situation. I would really like to get back to sleeping in my own bed. If I could just get this promotion at work my pay raise would probably be enough to allow me to move out of my parents' house and live on my own, which would be absolutely ideal.
Oh well, for now I suppose I just have to deal with things the way they are. This has gotten really long and had no real point, but at least I got some stuff off my chest. Time for bed now. Goodnight Xanga!
For the last who-knows-how-many years I have sworn off making new years resolutions because I know I won't be able to keep them. However, over the summer I joined Weight Watchers in order to lose weight for my sister's wedding which was in September. I lost 13 pounds between May 24th and September 20th, but have since gained back about 2 or 3 pounds. I still have a good 30 pounds that I would like to shed before I can be happy with my weight. Over the years I would occasionally sit down to watch the show Biggest Loser and told myself I wish I could do what those contestants do, but then go on with my day.
Today is the first day of Season 7 of Biggest Loser and I have decided to watch it every Tuesday at 8pm in order to help get myself motivated to lose those 30 pounds. I have pledged with Pound for Pound which is a charity program that BL is involved in this season which donates 10 cents for every pound you lose toward food for the homeless/hungry. I am starting back on Weight Watchers because that was the most effective weight loss plan I have ever been on.
You might ask why I am writing this. Well, the truth is, if I post it for the public to see, maybe I'll push myself hard enough, so I'm not embarrassed when I fail. My fear of humiliating myself will help me reach my goal.
By the way, if anyone in the Montgomery County, MD area would like to join me as a work out/diet buddy, please let me know. It's always easier with a buddy.
I don't know how I got to be this way. I used to be so laid back, type B even. But over the last 2 years I have definitely changed. I have noticed myself become much less easy going. I've decided that I have become this way because of my boyfriend. I don't blame him, it's not really his fault. He made me this way, but it's only because I care so much about him. I have never been so in love with a person. I was never like this with any of my ex-boyfriends, but I know that that's just because I never loved any of them. D keeps me on my toes, he keeps me so happy with what he brings to our relationship, but he keeps me constantly wanting more; wanting to hear him speak, wanting to learn more about him, his past, how he got the way he is today, what his mom was like (she passed away when we were in high school). He just makes me want to know more, be a better person. Before I was with him, I never really thought about growing up, getting married, or anything like that. I was perfectly happy just being a college student, living in the moment, figuring that eventually I'd have a family, but there was a long time before that would come along. But over the last year or so, since D and I have started getting serious, I've had thoughts of getting a place with him, getting married in a few years, and eventually having children. I've begun to long for that life with him. I'm not in any rush to get married or have kids, in fact, I want it to be a few more years before all of that, but lately, what I truly and deeply want is to have a place that the two of us can go and just be together, not worrying about interruptions, distractions, parents, siblings, money problems; a place where we can just be, talk, laugh, and fall asleep curled up against each other. I don't expect every night with him; I don't even expect every other night with him. Just a few days a week.
All I want, is some time alone with the person I care most about in this world.
Yesterday, I had my last final of my undergrad career. It actually ended up being a little easier than I anticipated. I was so excited when I was finished, I just wanted to go on a major vacation and spend an entire month with D and only D; celebrating and just plain relaxing. It's been so long since I've actually been able to just relax... But unfortunately it'll be that much longer until i actually get to.
How do you search for a job when you have no idea what you want to do? When you really don't want a job that has much to do with your degree because you've been studying that discipline for the last 16 years and you're tired of it and just want a break from it for a while? We'll see, I have a couple prospects so for right now I'm just relishing in the fact that I'm finally done with college.
I'm really excited that the holidays are here. Not because of the gifts.. seeing as how this year, my friends and family have agreed not to exchange gifts due to the bad economy and lack of money.. I'm really looking forward to the high holiday spirits and seeing all the lights. It always puts me in such a great mood to see the cheer and love in people. I hope I actually get to take a trip to see a bunch of fun lights this year.
Anyway.. I guess that's about it for now. Just figured I'd leave a little something....ciao
The time is now 5:04 am. I have been awake for approximately one hour. Today is the day of my last final exam of my life. But I'm not awake this early because I thought it would be a good idea to wake up and study. Nope, instead, I was hoping I could get a full nine hours by waking up at 7. But instead my achy body decided to wake up my sleepy brain at 4am. My back feels like someone just threw me up against a wall, my head feels like someone's trying to hang a picture from it, my eyes can't seem to fully adjust to the light or what I'm looking at even though I've had the lights on for about 30 minutes now, and my nose feels like someone stuffed it with a cork. I can't really seem to breath normally, and I'm just flat out exhausted. I feel like death. And I'm pretty sure I look it too. Ugh what a great day for an exam. And a very important one at that.
On top of it, of course I left my essay that's due at the beginning of the exam for today. This is pretty typical of me as I can't seem to write a decent paper unless I am under a major time crunch. My problem today is that I really have no idea what to say in this thing. The question is, "What is Literature?" We're only allowed to use our textbook from the class, and we have to use two authors we've read about in class as examples to explain our answers. WTF! I don't like this class and I'm so glad it's almost over. Anyway, I suppose I should get back to it. At this rate it might take me a while.
